So my depression has crept up on me again in the past few days. I am in that weird limbo situation where it’s cancelled out my anxiety and I am unable to care about everything that my body is screaming to at me to care about and I just cannot see any reason to get out of bed.
So today I forced myself to.
I had no lectures today, and I lay in bed until 12pm, marathoning Criminal Minds and trying to snap out of this fog. I would sit up, swing my legs over the side, and just flop back down because I’m just so heavy.
I mean, physically I’m disgusting anyway but mentally…
My head feels so full and it just pulls me down and why should I get up???
So it got to a point where once I was sitting up, I managed to grab my dry shampoo and spray the hell out of my hair before lying back down. I mean, that gave it some time to set in, right?
Then I got changed, one item of clothing at a time.
Next I managed to put on my shoes, grab my sponge bag, and make it to the bathroom.
My next step was to leave the house, which I did, and caught the bus into town. At this point I was so tired again that I went to Costa and fuelled up with a mocha because I love hot chocolate and coffee and their marriage is delicious.
Pit stops. That’s the key.
I made short trips all day, shop to shop, seat to seat. Bus home. Collapse on bed.
But I got out of my room, right?
I made it.
Pit stop to pit stop.
Don’t over exert.
I need to travel and just see new places because I am so tired of this place, of this costume, of everything.
Hope everyone’s ok out there.